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our sob story

"It started with one bad text. It ended with a global brand."

How we got here.

In 2024, our founder Adam (no, not that Adam) was dumped via voice memo. A 47-second voice memo. She sat on the kitchen floor eating cereal directly from the box and thought: "there should be a candle that smells like this."

Three months and a lot of Pinot later, Adamnoteve was born — a brand built on the radical idea that heartbreak deserves better packaging. Sad? Sure. But also extremely shoppable.

What we believe.

We believe relationships end. We believe red flags are a personality. We believe closure is a marketing term. Most importantly, we believe that if you're going to cry on the bathroom floor, you might as well do it in a really cute hoodie.

Every product is designed in our studio in Brooklyn (also crying), printed on demand, and shipped with the kind of care your last partner couldn't muster.

47k tears bottled
12k exes survived
red flags spotted

What we don't do.

We don't do hate. We don't do harassment. We don't do "send this to your ex." Our humor punches up at the universal absurdity of love, not at any specific human. Even the bad ones. (Especially the bad ones — they're not worth your energy. Buy a candle instead.)

Adamnoteve is for the survivors, the soft girls, the petty kings, the emotionally cluttered. Pull up a chair. The wifi password is "single4ever".

Want in?

Follow us on the socials below for new drops, behind-the-scenes meltdowns, and the occasional unhinged group chat screenshot. Or just sign up for the newsletter — it's free, and the worst it'll do is occasionally remind you of your ex's birthday.

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